The Magic of Thinking Big

The Magic of Thinking Big is a book that has been floating around in my home office for a long time--probably a year or so.

It's one of those old-style positive thinking books, written in the 1959. The author, David Schwartz, was a professor and educational consultant for most of his life, and the book reflects 30+ years of experience as a "life coach" well before that term was coined.

My inital reaction to these books (Think and Grow Rich, etc.) is aversion. After all, aren't my eyes on a different, higher prize these days?

In the past, I was all about success. Making money. Being "that guy", with the $1000 suit, the $100 haircut, the $2000 watch, the expensive car, the condo, etc. I was addicted to it; the thrill of the deal, the large checks, the lifestyle. The ability to do whatever I wanted...even though I never did, because I was too busy working, so I could make more money. So I could...do what?

My original plan was to save up, live lean, and invest. Retire by 40 and live simply, free and clear and mostly off the grid. But somewhere along the line, that got lost.

It started simply. Hey, I'm in sales. I need some nice suits. I need to look the part.

Now, I need nice shoes. A watch, one that is understated but luxurious enough to say "I'm on your level, and I don't need to flash my money around." A nice car. Now I need money to maintain that car, to keep putting 93+ gas in it. Now I can't park that car at my apartment, I need a condo, one that says "I've arrived" but isn't too big for me.

And that's what was important to me. Sure, other things were too: my girlfriend (at the time...who left mostly because, you guessed it, I was always working), personal growth (as far as success went), and pretending everything was great.

Except that it wasn't.

Looking back, I wasn't such a stereotype. I wasn't a bad guy, in fact people always praised me for my integrity and willingness to work my ass off for a client. I figured--and still do--that if someone puts their trust in you, you owe it to them to do your best and go way above and beyond what anyone else will do. That attitude, more than anything, is what made me successful at such a young age. I honestly cared about people, and wanted them to be happy.

Except I couldn't let that go. I got tied up in their dramas, their conflicts, their fears and worries about buying or selling a home. I went home at night with my stomach tied up in knots and drank to loosen it. A lot. Most nights I would go home to a very sweet and caring woman, mostly ignore her, and break out my bottle of vodka and few beers. By a few, I mean 5-6. And I would do a shot, and drink a beer, and do it again and again until I passed out.

Ah, regrets. Although I knew she and I couldn't work in the long run, I still regret not giving her the attention she deserved. She is a great woman and is married now, hopefully happily. Her life hadn't been easy but she always pushed on and looked on the bright side of everything.

Wow, holy digression Batman.

Anyway, back to my original topic: The Magic of Thinking Big.

Despite what you may think initially, these older self-help books are fantastic tools for personal growth. I know many of us who are on a more "spiritual" path tend to discount material success; but these books aren't really about that. they also tend to be written by people who actually studied and/or taught psychology and worked with patients, often patients who were recovering from traumatic and life-changing accidents or illnesses.

Schwartz's book is only peripherally about success in terms of money, and I think that is largely due to the inital audience for these books: executives and salespeople, almost exclusively male and above the age of 30. Which, in modern terms, means 40+.

But the real message--and the practical exercises it gives you--reach alot further than just making more money or getting ahead in your company.

Really, it's about seeing your true potential clearly. Not in a "trust the universe" froofy sort of way (don't get me started), but in a real, practical way. It's about learning how to see yourself as you really are-- as someone with vast unrealized potential and power.

Sound a little to Tony Robbins for you? Yeah, that's my gut reaction, too. The whole Gen X cynicism thing.

But I'm tired of that. Do we need that cynical bullshit anymore? What purpose does it serve, other than to isolate from what's real and good? None. All it really does is keep us safe, secure in our "too cool for skool" world.

Fuck that. Look at our president. Can you honestly tell me you don't feel real, honest hope? That real change isn't here--change the we created?

So why shouldn't that hope be applied to our own lives? Why should it be kept private, silent, shut away for fear of ridicule from someone too shut down and scared to see their own inner beauty, infinite potential and untapped strength?

Thinking big in some things means thinking big in ALL things. Setting huge goals, ones that scare you a bit--the ones that require real commitment and honest self-inquiry. Running towards them full speed and being OK with falling flat on your face a few times. Taking the risks--whether it's starting that business (ok...think of it as a non-profit. Hippie), having that painful but necessary conversation, or opening your heart to someone who you thought you could never forgive.

Form a Buddhist perspective, it also means believing that you...yes, YOU, can attain freedom. Liberation. Enlightenment. That you are worthy of it and capable of it, and that's it's available to you right here, in this lifetime.

Scary stuff. And exciting.

Off to meditate...